My Ill-Omened, Mid-Life, First and Last, Southern Wedding
by Lauren Williams
I had a hunch it might happen while collecting our licence.
Why else wear his boxer shorts beneath my blue dress
and new coat, Nana's ring on a finger that didn't count?
Glass window paperwork at City Hall — our mothers' first
and middle names the same. Unusual, said the clerk.
The judge is in. Would y'all like to do it now?
I ran outside in deep winter to pluck any bouquet,
returned with a sprig of holly berries, pricking,
praying myself blind to symbolism.
From a waiting room like some old dentist's,
a policeman delivered us to the judge. I hung
back. The officer la-la'd Here Comes the Bride.
It went like in the movies, but I stumbled at the part
about parting: To death do us part, more like a toast.
Wanting to believe not the same as believing.
Signed, stamped, embossed, entered. His mother's ring
loose on my finger. Are you saying my mom has big hands?
Into the car to a pizza bar for a guestless, giftless dinner.
Arriving, my left hand on the door — bare! Panicked
scrabble through foot-well trash, the sunset rush
back to City Hall's gutters, luckless muddy grass.
All that looking down instead of up. We tried a
better restaurant. A Georgia Peach, then I was served
the wrong meal; the right one late, lukewarm, lacklustre.
Across town to his buddy to beg weed and moonshine.
The wife, post-surgery wan, took our wedding photo
in the basement den, silhouettes against dim light.
Left to right: her unfaithful husband; mine grinning harder
than before or after; me, ringless; and, soon-to-be-dead,
the lodger — best man there, turns out — holding a shotgun.
Found the ring in the car next day, wore it on my thumb.
Left it behind in the bathroom when I flew home to Mum.
He lost his job and hocked it before a year was done
Lauren Williams was born and raised in Melbourne, Australia; she now resides in the historic country town of Maldon, central Victoria. She began writing poetry in the early 1980s, and has performed widely, nationally and internationally. Lauren’s sixth collection, Cleanskin Poems, was published by Island Press (Sydney) in 2016. She is also a prize-winning singer/songwriter.